Young Couple’s Deliverance From Pornography, Anxiety, Rejection, and Masturbation.

Female, 20 years old, married with child

Background:

I was raised in a spiritual environment. From a young age I heard the Holy Spirit
speak to me and use me. At age 8, I started struggling with masturbation. I was so young that I
did not even know what I was doing. By age 10, I was introduced to pornography. I felt so guilty
and so much shame because I was very involved in church and still had a close relationship with
the Lord. I would commit the sin, repent and then go as long as I could until I “had to” commit
the sin again. (This is what it is like to be oppressed by a demonic spirit). Even as a child I could
feel the heaviness from the sin. I was very spiritually aware, however, I was too worried about
people thinking I was a fraud then to just get delivered. Fast forward to age 16, I start dealing
with severe depression and anxiety. By age 18, I was taking medications just to function and had
suicidal ideations weekly. I used sexual relations to allow me to “feel” anything. Notice how the
enemy works… a little “ah-ha” moment. I also had a very severe issue with perfectionism. I set
standards for myself to please others. This also fueled the anxiety and depression because of
constant pressure of trying to be perfect.

Two weeks before deliverance:

I decided I was done living in sin. I cleaned up my sinful life to my best abilities. Notice I said
“my best abilities”. I stopped cursing and began reading my Bible daily. The thing about the Holy
Spirit is He will gently correct you as you deepen your relationship with him. He first started to
correct me on the books I was reading (smut). Then He went on to tell me not to masturbate.
You are probably thinking, “you are married, why would you need to do that?” And my answer
to that is, because I was oppressed. Now delivered from this demon, I can see that the “urge”
was much different than it is now that my marriage bed in undefiled. As the days pass, I notice
my husband is just “off”. He is quick tempered and not really interested in pursuing me sexually.
From my fleshy perspective I think to myself, “I can’t masturbate and my husband doesn’t want
to be intimate.” This made me feel rejected and like he didn’t love me. Oh! How the enemy
twist and turns things when we are not walking in freedom. When I would feel rejected I would
get depressed. Being depressed meant I needed to “feel” something and how could I “feel”
anything when my husband didn’t desire me and didn’t need my body for his pleasure. I hope
you are having a few “ah-ha” moments because I was being played like a fiddle by the enemy. At
this point, I’m hearing the Holy Spirit and worshipping in my house. But as soon as my husband
walks through the door when he get home I no longer feel peace. I didn’t worship around him. I
was terrified to. We never prayed together. He didn’t know how spiritual I was as a child. I was
afraid to show him that part of me. However, I started praying “Lord what be done in the dark,
come to the light” because at this point we were talking about divorce and I was suspicious he
was cheating.

A few days before deliverance:

The Holy Spirit highlighted a specific person to me that has testified previously how she
overcame a pornography addiction. I also saw a demon in my house and the Holy Spirit told me
it was the “Spirit of fear”. And there were a few other things that happened that I now feel the
Holy Spirit was preparing me for what I was about to find out. Like I said, I was suspicious about
my husband so I checked his phone while he was asleep. I didn’t find anything. Everything was
cut off, no search history or anything. So I turned everything on. The next day, I looked on his
phone and found pornography. Oh my heart was shattered. I took our child to my moms and
came back home to confront him. He denied 3 times and even handed the phone for me to
“prove” what I had found. When I did, he broke down and told me he’d dealt with pornography
addiction since he was a young child. Even though I was crushed, I carried the faithfulness of
God because He had done what I asked Him to and He had been slowly preparing me for this.
But as a human with very raw emotions, I was devastated and no longer trusted him. I left the
house and drove to Northwood church, because this was “home” and I knew the right people to
help me would be there.

The day before deliverance:

My husband tells me about this vision he had the night before while he was sleeping on the
couch. The husband that had never felt the Holy Spirit had a spiritual vision of the demons that
had oppressed him since he was a young child. He saw in the spirit. I was excited.

The day of deliverance:

We decided to have a meeting with the pastor and his wife. This meeting almost did not
happen. This meeting was for my husband about his addiction but I was secretly hoping to get
prayed with as well. I was Cred of being depressed and having paranoia. We sit down and start
talking. My anxiety was so terrible I couldn’t even flip to the right page in the Bible. So they
stopped, and we all prayed. We would talk, find an issue (spirit of rejection, unable to submit to
my husband and authority, spirit of masturbation, depression, suicidal ideation, etc) and they
would pray with us. Not only did we get set free from demons but my husband was filled with
the Holy Spirit and began to speak in tongues. The husband that wouldn’t pray with me days
before, was passed out in the Spirit having a life changing encounter. I was instructed by the
Pastors wife to speak God’s truth over myself when the enemy came to attack again. And I still
have to do so today. We were radically set free from demons we had carried for 10 plus years.

Days after deliverance:

My husband and I were new creations. The arguments had stopped. We were both on fire for
God and we were working out of love and peace. My husband now loves me like Christ loves
the church. I could now submit to him as my husband and respect him. The hurt would come
but I chose to forgive him. Notice I said “chose”, because that wound was still raw. Every time
the enemy would speak lies to me I would speak God’s truth over myself. “ I am restored. I don’t
have to be perfect.” “I am beautiful and made whole by the Father.” “I am enough and
wonderfully made” “I do not seek validation from man but from the Father that says I’m an
enough through Him.” I even noticed the absent paranoia and anxiety. And I saw a change in my husband as well. He was gentle and loving. He was patient and kind. He became the Bible’s definition of love. Even when he corrected me it was out of love. We worship together and read our bibles together. We pray for each other in our own prayer time with the Lord. We have both
experienced the absent “urge” for masturbation and he experienced the same absent “urge” to
watch pornography. My selfish thoughts have vanished and have been replaced by the thoughts
that align with the word of God. I went from counting down the minutes until the day was over
to not having enough time in the day. My mom spoke some wisdom when she said “God does
not restore to normal but to even better.” Thank you Jesus for setting us free and restoring my
family “to even better.”